facebook post on the 20th June 2102:
Just a quick update....surgery is scheduled for 9th July . Two weeks Monday. Lumpectomy and some lymph nodes removed. Over night surgery. All removed bits to be tested. Back for further surgery if the results are not clear. If results are clear... Recovery, five weeks of radiation , 5 days a week.. And then anti cancer drug for five years.
I am going with the breast conservation option due to the apparent status of the cancer.. IF at any point it becomes more than expected ...bilateral mastectomy .
BUT .. At this point... That's the deal.
Very grateful.
and I was. Completely grateful.
Two weeks to wait for surgery was really hard. While my wonderful surgeon assured me that two weeks was not going to make any difference to my particular cancer , I just wanted to get on with it. Get the bitch out of my body, and move on past this blip.
So what type of cancer was lurking in my breast trying to kill me? I was diagnosed with Early Breast Cancer. , which was initially diagnosed as ductal carcinoma in situ. All these words and stats , and percentages were thrown at me, and I struggled to take everything in. I was very glad to have my husband PB with me. Take someone with you! You need to have a clear mind to take in all the info, and trust me, it is unlikely to be you with the clear mind. I was told to cease taking the contraceptive pill immediately ( I had been on it for decades), as hormones "feed" the cancer that I was carrying around. The surgeon struggled to find the tumor on my mammogram, only being sure of where it was due to the ultrasound. I could not feel any lumps myself, even after I was told exactly where it was. (**this is why you MUST get regular checks!!!)
message to my closest girlfriends following my initial visit to surgeon.:
hey my darlings.
Too much to put in a text so facebook it is.
if you are ever thinking of having breast cancer, please dont.
but if you ever get it.. make sure you have what i'm having. its like ( at this stage) the best you could hope for while still actually having cancer.
SO.
9th of july. 2.30pm.
cut following the line of my nipple, lump and surrounding tissue removed. another cut near lymph nodes , several removed. all examined while i am still under. assuming all is well and no irregularities in lymph nodes.. sewn up... in over night. no drains... no nothing.
all removed bits tested over the course of three days.
back to surgeon ( great tiny practical dynamo of a woman.. really like her) for results.
IF all is as it seems and as expected...
5 week course of radiation.
5 year course of (i THINK it is) Tamoxifen.
NO CHEMO!!!!!
in theory.. good as gold. ( i cannot take the pill anymore as the cancer is fed by the pill.)
IF there is more than expected following first op... back in for full mastectomy both sides.
will deal with that IF we need to.
Not going for full on removal straight up... as doc is VERY sure of treatment prescribed, and there are huge numbers of effects from going the full chop.
all of which I will gladly take if there is more to the little bastard than meets the eye.
PB is naturally in favour of the lesser treatment.
I am.. but will be hyper vigilant, because i cannot die from this.
Weirdly.. once the surgery is done my boobs will actually be almost exactly the same size.
So huge amounts of info to take in.... LOTS about percentages and risk factors, and the fact that mum survived with no recurrance of cancer is better in my favour too.
whew.
I am not totally sure my brain can actually process anymore shite.. so i am choosing NOT to panic. cause I cant be fucked.
brain hurts.
thank you for all the love, my darlings.
Ngai
xxxx
"everything will be alright in the end..... And if it's not yet alright.. Then it's not yet the end"
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