Yup it does.
posted on facebook 8th July 2012.
So it's the night before. I am more than a little shitscared to be honest. we have taken the obligatory ( for me anyway) shots of the boosies in case I need to remember them the way they were . Made very sure NOT TO POP THEM ON INSTAGRAM!!!. Ahahaaaa. Won't go into all the stuff I have planned for me tomorrow, but I am, as always, happy to answer any questions after. Fire away. Please send any spare well wishes this way if you don't mind, I am planning on kicking some serious cancer arse tomorrow. Love to you all. Nx
I was WAY more shitscared than this light hearted post tells. Its okay. You can be scared. You should be scared. you should also be prepared to fight like a mad bitch wehn you wake up. I had discussed with my surgeon what I wanted to have happen if it was way worse in there than what we all thought. I wanted both breasts gone. So as I went to sleep on the operating table, I was mentally saying goodbye to them, just in case.
On the eve of the sugery, my dear friend Dawn sent me this:
"I was given a gift,wrapped shabbily, it was non-returnable,non-refundable!Reluctantly I accepted it.
In it I found courage I never knew existed and a patience far beyond anything ever experienced.
I was given the ability to trust a stranger with that most dear to me,
and an endurance for the unknown.
I was given unconditional love of family and friends,always there, never stopping, never faltering.
I was given many prayers from far and wide,and the warmth of knowing I am truly cared about.
I was given a fond farewell of my modesty and vanity, and the acceptance and love of an imperfect body.
I was given a strong shoulder to lean onwhen that shoulder had once grown distant,and laughter and good times, more special than ever before.
I was given many new friends, wonderful, courageous women I am so very proud to know.
I was given warm sunshine and beautiful green grass,blue skies, and sparkling city lights.
I was given things to see,that once before were ignored.
I was given the chance to wake up,instead of sleepwalking through life.
I was given every glorious day to enjoy,every month to savor, every year to rejoice.
I was given the gift of life,I was given breast cancer."
It was something I had sent to her 6 years before , when she battled her very own breast cancer demons. Now she was ( and has continued to ) supporting me with my battle.
I actually find the lines a bit..um... overly sentimental. I wonder if Dawn thought the same thing when I innocently , trying to be helpful, sent it to her. Try to see beyond the sacharine of it. The reminder it is giving you, is a good one. You will begin to focus on the little things. Giving death the hairy eyeball will cause you to do that. Enjoy every moment you have that is good. Suck that marrow!
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