18th July:
I had the second surgery to remove the remaining lymph nodes from my right armpit. I was lucky and recovered from this surgery pretty well. More pain than the first, but bearable . I started right away with excerises to get back the use of my arm. Worthwhile as it was back to 98% good in two months or so.
facebook post 19th July
Laugh of the week... When the oncologist asked me whether I wanted to harvest eggs for future babies...
Er no.. Thanks .. I'll be right..
Very kind of him. :/
Also got to see the chemo ward where I will be going in the next few weeks. What a sad place. Can't say I was thrilled about it.. But I will make the most of it. Very confronting seeing so many people hooked up... They look sick. I don't feel sick, and sure as shit don't want to look sick either... The bald just screams chemo and cancer... Think I am going to have to give the red lipstick a fine old workout over the next few months...
Right .. Rambling now... Night all,
Ngai xxx
Before.
Facebook post 26th July ..
Hey my darlings!
I saw my surgeon today. All wounds are healing well.... And I can start with the bio oil tonight. No more tapes or bandages = no more itching .*** ( I am allergic to almost every tape and band aid there is = blistering and mad itching) Very grateful for that.
So.... I can start chemo ASAP. I see the oncologist on Tuesday.... And will be starting soon after that. Because my last hit will be in December.. If I can get it done earlier and have Christmas chemo free.. Then that would be fabulous.. So thats my aim.
Getting anxious about how I will go with chemo... But I won't know till I give it a go, I guess.
I have now got several head scarf/ beenies/wraps/ hijab type things. All of which just make me look like a sick bald chick. I just hate that they scream "chemo" ... But there ya go. While I can't hide that fact that I will be bald, I intend to be everything I usually am, and the odd bit more, while I am that bald chemo chick.
I start that process tomorrow with a SHORT PIXIE cut and a touch of ..colour.... I will share photos, feel free to point and laugh ;)))))))
Ngai xxxxx
After.
Facebook post 29th july 2012.
Hey my darlings. A wee update.
Am seeing my oncologist on Tuesday. Will hopefully know this week when my first chemo session will be. I just want to get it started now... My nerves are getting the better of me.
Wednesday the first is my "look good feel better" day.. Meliss ( my dear froend from the age of 14) is my date... Wigs scarves etc.. Promise will take photos.
Other than that..life goes on.
I will admit to sleeping badly ...and today i am struggling. I feel teary and anxious and bone weary. Not sure why I am still so freaking tired. I
I hate that I am feeling so frail emotionally. But I guess some days are just like that. Tomorrow is another day.
A better day I am sure.
Ngai xxx
(***I do realise I am using this as a diary of sorts.. Do feel free to ignore.. I like to write.. It some how feels purged if I put it down in words.)
*** so glad I did write it all down... it truly did make me feel better, You might like to try it too
facebook post: 31st July 2012.
So I saw the Onocologist today. He is a lovely man, and wears teeny stethoscope cuff links. :)
Am healing well and so.. Chemo starts next Tuesday the 7th August.
I am both relieved and scared. So happy to be getting started. Worried about how I will cope. Sad that I will be so isolated for the next four months . BUT.. I am on my way... And the sooner I start, the sooner it ends.
So if all goes to plan.. My hair will fall out on the 24 th August. (day 17) I have put this in my diary. Yes I am aware that is an odd thing to do. But I don't want to be somewhere and have my "do" end up in my coffee. Might be a quiet weekend.... Will def be a bald one.
Such is life.
And life, is fucking good. And far better than the alternative.
:)
Ngai xxx
The time waiting to start chemo was hard. I am the sort of person who imagines all kinds of crap.. so I did my own head in, worrying. DO NOT DO THIS.
Surrender to the process.
Take it all one hour , one day, one week at a time.
Baby. Steps.
Recent Comments